Stop Saying ‘I’m Fine’: What Your Relationship Really Needs to Hear

Why ‘I’m fine’ might be the most dangerous lie you tell in a relationship

Before you take care of others, make sure you can breathe.

Real relationship recovery starts with you.

We’ve all heard it before, probably too many times to count. On every flight, the crew recites the same crucial instruction:

"Secure your own oxygen mask before helping others."

It’s a reminder wrapped in logic. If you’re unconscious from lack of oxygen, you’re in no position to save anyone else. And yet, when push comes to shove, how many of us actually would reach for our own mask first?

It’s no wonder the phrase has become a metaphor for self-care, but let’s not kid ourselves, it’s a metaphor we resist. Because many of us have been conditioned by culture, by upbringing, by gender expectations, by trauma, to believe our value comes from how much we give, not how well we receive.

Especially in relationships.

Especially after betrayal.

Especially when everything around us feels like it might collapse if we stop holding it up.

But here’s the truth we tend to avoid:

You can’t reset a relationship if you're running on emotional fumes.
You can’t reconnect with someone else when you’ve disconnected from yourself.

So What Does “I’m Fine” Actually Mean?